eul_wid: jqk-ab
DOI 10.5281/zenodo.20335421 PDFMarkdown

Comic Chef's Art by Nicomachus the Comic Poet

The Comic Chef's Art is a collection of twenty-nine comic verse fragments attributed to the poet Nicomachus. The conventional English title reflects the work's thematic preoccupation with food and culinary practice, though its original Greek title more accurately denotes a compilation of extracts or selections. These passages are likely drawn from one or more of his comedies, which belong to the tradition of Athenian Old or Middle Comedy. The surviving fragments employ parody and satire, focusing their mockery on the culinary arts and the figure of the professional chef. This comic treatment extends to themes of gluttony, extravagant dining, and social commentary on consumption and luxury, often intersecting with broader jokes about household management. The work itself is lost and survives only through quotations preserved by later authors, principally the gastronomic writer Athenaeus of Naucratis in his Deipnosophistae, compiled in modern standard editions of comic fragments. As part of the corpus of Greek comic poetry, these excerpts contribute to the scholarly understanding of the genre's thematic range, particularly its penchant for parodying daily life and professional trades, while also providing valuable, if humorous, evidence for the study of ancient gastronomy and social history.

ΕΙΛΕΙΘΥΙΑ.
Ὑποδεικνύεις μὲν ἦθος ἀστεῖον πάνυ
καὶ πρᾶον, ὀλίγωρον δὲ πεποίηκάς τι. Β. πῶς;
Α. ἐν τῇ τέχνῃ τίνες ἐσμὲν οὐκ ἐξήτακας.
ἢ πρότερον ἐπύθου τῶν ἀκριβῶς εἰδότων
οὕτω τʼ ἐμισθώσω με; Β. μὰ Δίʼ ἐγὼ μὲν οὔ.
Α. ἦ μὴν ἴσως ὅσον μαγείρου διαφέρει
μάγειρος οὐκ οἶσθʼ. Β. εἴσομαι δέ γʼ ἢν λέγῃς.
Α. τὸ γὰρ παραλαβόντʼ ὄψον ἠγορασμένον,
πάτερ, ἀποδοῦναι σκευάσαντα μουσικῶς
διακόνου '́στʼ οὐ τοῦ τυχόντος, Ἡράκλεις.
ὁ μάγειρός ἐσθʼ ὁ τέλειος ἑτέρα διάθεσις.
πολλὰς τέχνας λάβοις ἂν ἐνδόξους πάνυ,
ὧν τὸν μαθεῖν βουλόμενον ὀρθῶς οὐκ ἔνι
ταύταις προσελθεῖν εὐθύς· ἀλλʼ ἔμπροσθε δεῖ
ζωγραφίας ἧφθαι. ταὐτὰ καὶ μαγειρικῆς
πρότερον μαθεῖν δεῖ τινα τέχνης ἑτέρας τέχνας,
ὧν εἰδέναι σοι κρεῖττον ἦν μοι πρὶν λαλεῖν,
ἀστρολογικήν, γεωμετρικήν, ἰατρικήν.
τῶν ἰχθύων γὰρ τὰς δυνάμεις καὶ τὰς τύχας
ἐντεῦθεν εἴσει, παρακολουθήσεις χρόνοις,
πότʼ ἄωρός ἐσθʼ ἕκαστος ἢ πόθʼ ὥριμος.
τῶν ἡδονῶν γὰρ μεγάλα τὰ διαστήματα·
ἐνίοτε κρείττων γίγνεται θύννου βόαξ.
Β. ἔστω. γεωμετρικῇ δὲ καὶ σοὶ πρᾶγμα τί;
Α. τοὐπτάνιον ἡμεῖς σφαῖραν εἶναι τιθέμεθα.
τοῦτο διελέσθαι καὶ τόπον λαβόνθʼ ἕνα
μερίσαι κατʼ εἶδος τῆς τέχνης ἐπιδέξια,
ἐκεῖθεν ἐνταῦθʼ ἐστὶ μετενηνεγμένα.
Β. οὗτος, πέπεισμαι· καὶ τὰ λοιπὰ μὴ λάλει.
Α. περὶ τῆς ἰατρικῆς δέ· τῶν γὰρ βρωμάτων
πνευματικὰ καὶ δύσπεπτα καὶ τιμωρίαν
ἔχοντʼ ἔνιʼ ἔστιν, οὐ τροφήν. δειπνῶν δὲ πᾶς
τἀλλότρια γίγνετʼ ὀξύχειρ κοὐκ ἐγκρατής.
τοῖς δὴ τοιούτοις βρώμασιν τὰ φάρμακα
εὕρητʼ ἐκεῖθεν, μεταφορὰ δʼ ἐστὶν τέχνης.
ἤδη τὸ μετὰ νοῦ καὶ τὸ συμμέτρως ἐμόν.
παρὰ τακτικῆς, ἕκαστα ποῦ τεθήσεται·
ἀριθμῷ τὸ πλῆθος εἰδέναι μαγειρικῆς.
οὐδεὶς ἕτερός σοι πρὸς ἐμὲ καὶ γραφήσεται.
Β. μικρὰ διάκουσον ἐν μέρει κἀμοῦ. Α. λέγε.
Β. σὺ μηδὲν ἐνόχλει μήτε σαυτὸν μήτʼ ἐμέ,
ἀπραγμόνως δὲ διαγενοῦ τὴν ἡμέραν.
ΝΑΥΜΑΧΙΑ.
Ἐργῶδές ἐστιν ἐν βίῳ βεβιωκότα
τοὺς τῶν φθονούντων πάντας ὀφθαλμοὺς λαθεῖν.
Οὐσίδιον γὰρ καταλιπόντος μοι πατρός
οὕτω συνεστρογγύλικα κἀξεκόκκισα
ἐν μησὶν ὀλίγοις ὥσπερ ᾠόν τις ῥοφῶν.
Ὦ χαῖρε χρυσόκλυστα καὶ χρυσοῦς ἐμῶν.